This blog post was supposed to go up yesterday 11/4/19, on this day I wasn't in the mood to post anything. I tend to not want to post or force anything when I don't feel like it or i'm not in the mood because it won't be authentic. I like to be real and honest with myself. I am now sitting here 11/5/19 at 11:40pm finally writing this blog post on what I can call a small diary entry, a look into my mind and what's going on with me.
Where do I begin?...
I want to speak my inner truth and how i'm feeling on my "platform" as well as getting a little more personal with my blog. I tend to post more of my styling work, fashion and some superficial shit but let's get inside my head.
This year has been a year of growth, learning myself and everyone around me. Really understanding and reflecting on my feelings and why things get to me and bother me. Also understanding and reflecting the people around me and how they behave and how it reflects on me or changes my mood.
I would definitely call myself an over-thinker and analyzer. I over analyze everything. It can be a good and bad thing but I'm trying to control my mind on when not to over think too much. The analyzing has definitely helped with working on myself and self development. Trying to let go of what doesn't make me happy and adding things that do make me happy. Trying not to let people's toxicity get the best of me. This part of my life has been a break down of myself and me looking at all of the pieces and deciding what pieces I need to build myself back up.
I definitely feel a difference in myself, its an uneasy feeling of me growing into a new and better me and outgrowing people and things who are stuck in themselves and haven't had their own growth. I can feel a change is coming for the good.
I have moments where my anxiety gets the best of me, especially right now, my anxiety has been at an all time high. I even have anxiety about making this blog post but I have to let go! Oh & that retrograde is definitely real.
I want everyone to know, never give up, keep going, keep working. If it gets hard, take a break, take a breath, speak to someone, someone you trust, a therapist.
I want everyone to know, never give up, keep going, keep working. If it gets hard, take a break, take a breath, speak to someone, someone you trust, a therapist.
I am an honest person but I am also the person that keeps a lot of things in. I am the person who says "I'm fine" when there is so much on my mind. I share my honesty on superficial topics or when other people tell me their problems but not my own. I'm sure a lot of people look at me as the "strong person" or the "strong friend" but I have my moments of weakness, I just hide it really well with my laughter, my jokes, my smile, the advice I give, how I'm always there for everybody else but not always there for myself. I have been taking personal time to take care of me and be selfish because I deserve that.
But yeahhh, that's all. Make sure you all check on your "strong friend"...